Hair Today. (Gone Tomorrow)

I cut off my hair about a year ago. It started to grow then I shaved it off again even shorter. If you don’t believe me, here it is.

I was surprised by the number of people originally who said they loved it. I suspected many were just filling the air with words of encouragement given the lack of anything else to say when a person buzzes off their hair.

The standard response was: you look great, I’ve always wanted to do that, you can pull it off but I don’t think I could.

My answer was and always is the same: anyone can pull it off. The truth is that just about everyone looks good without hair. Pulling it off just requires sheers and attitude. A big smile and some Doc Martens. Glittery eye shadow is my secret weapon the nowadays.

Yesterday I posted a picture from the beach on Maui. It wasn’t a great picture of me, from the perspective of neck and jowls. That’s what buzzed hair has done for me. I worry a whole lot less about my neck and my jowls.

So one of my Facebook friends said how beautiful I looked but would I please grow out my hair?? This woman is someone I love of course in part because she speaks her mind.

Well, I’m gonna speak my mind too so listen up.

I’m 58 and as far as I am concerned, it isn’t my job to look pretty anymore. My job as I understand it is to be kind, to help others, to take care the world around me, to create art, to make music, to educate others and myself…..those are some of my jobs.

I already blogged about the magic of no hair. It saves me a lot of time. It’s not just the time it used to take to wash and style my hair. I also spend exactly no time thinking about my hair. It’s never a bad hair day….or it’s always a bad hair day depending on one’s perspective. It is what it is so….next?

Without revealing my occasional illusions of grandeur, casting off stereotypes of femininity and rejecting the obligation as a woman to crank up the heat as high as it will go is tremendously empowering.

Roar.

There are also moments when it’s esthetically on point. But that’s not my point. My point is that as humans, hair has a function beyond esthetics. Our bodies are here to do things beyond attract a mate. They are our vessel. No more, no less.

Our vessels are miracles and should be revered as such. We can adorn them and shape them or mould them. Our vessels show signs of wear and tear and it’s a good idea to take care of them some. But it’s an even better idea to tend to our souls and our inner beings. Self-love and a sense of magic and whimsy about life is far superior to a rigid adherence to standards of beauty.

Balance is key and I am going to suggest that fretting too much about our outer appearance keeps us from tending our inner garden.

So am I going to grow my hair out as my friend recommended ?

The answer is….maybe.

I have an idea of just not cutting it until I turn 60 as a way of welcoming in the next decade. I will say…40 was a cheeky bit of managing to not age while aging. 50 was a come to Jesus decade when the getting older started. But the reality of 60 is much different. Real aging has happened with the lumps and the odd folds and the thinning skin. It’s here, get used to it.

I will use my hair to feel the things I want to feel and abject beauty isn’t always the overriding goal. Strength, longevity, moxie, determination….these are more up my alley at the moment. A buzzed head aligns with all that.

As an aside I’m also going to say that when you don’t have much hair, hair itself can seem kind of icky. Like long nails when you like them short. I’m not judging the long hairs out there I’m just saying that a neatly trimmed head has a certain kind of clean appeal.

I do have a wig. My mom doesn’t like my bald head and as a mother myself I cut the woman some slack by making it easier on her.

But everyone else can just deal.

It’s only hair. We’re only on this planet a short time. Anything that can change our perspective, help us find strength, drive our attention inward and our interactions with others towards deeper connection is to be celebrated.

I celebrate my nearly bald head and if the hair grows and it serves me I will celebrate that too. But it will never define me or color my day as good or bad. And for that, I am quite grateful to have shaken things up a bit with trimmers and a gleam in my eye.

Namaste, world.