Costco

What´s left to say about Costco? From where I´m standing, plenty. I think we should be talking more about Costco, especially when it comes to the odd mixture of items a person can find there and the experiences that can happen inside. Even a boring trip to Costco has something to say for itself.

Tonight was a humdinger.

I arrived at 6:30 but first had to fight my way through the interchange on a Friday night. Phew. I expected the place to be empty so I was a bit shocked to find the parking lot crammed full with cars. It was so crammed with cars that I entered a lane and was immediately locked in place for some time….enough time to feel sort of panicky and claustrophobic. I was surprised that this many people were attempting to shop at Costco on a Friday night.

It was no better inside.

There were people packed in everywhere.

I decided to go up and down every isle and there´s the electronics to get through and then we hit beer and wine. I had a quick conflab with myself about whether I should try and buy all the alcohol for my birthday and various upcoming events or just buy what I needed for tomorrow and return later in a week for the rest. I rarely ever come to Costco so maybe I should get it all done.

I paced up and down and when I got wind of the prices I decided to make it a beer run. And, wine, gin, vodka, Paloma drinks, canned mimosas – I snagged it all.

Next I found the salmon I came for and mulled over the expense. I decided to spring for it and found some super cheap shrimp to offset the cost. Five dozen eggs were a bargain.

The rest of what I bought is just a blizzard of wonderful: sesame oil, chili paste, moose poop, popcorn, M and M´s, gogi berries, yerba mate, butter cookies (from France), kimchi, almonds, aluminum foil pre-cut into sheets, vegetarian bouillon, and unbelievably – some Asian treats – waffle fish filled with custard and some cool looking spirits.

A grand. It came to a grand. All in all given what was in my cart, it was a bargain. Cases of wine and beer. Sparkling waters. Topo Chico.

Miraculously, I had enough money in my account. It´s a long story but I worked hard to have the extra funds freed up to do this. I was feeling good.

Until……transaction denied! Contact your bank!

This wasn´t a big surprise because a week ago the same thing happened trying to buy tires for Owen. My account has a fraud alert on it and the bank gets intermittently worried – somewhat randomly – and declines my transactions.

I was able to call the bank and luckily I am immune to the shame of having the cashier glare at me as I stepped aside to make the call. At Costco they won´t pause the line while you figure it out. She voided the transaction and I stood there with my big cart pressing zero like a maniac to talk to an operator.

My card was reset after I answered a few questions and I was told to wait 3-5 minutes before trying to use it. I set a timer for five minutes. I was taking no chances.

I got back in line and the cashier took the receipt and had to enter in all the items again by hand. I gave her major props and appreciation and used humor but the woman did not crack. No smile, nothing. Nothing but mild irritation and her head down. This woman was not going to engage with me in any way other than to get this rung up and me out of her store.

Well guess what. Not so fast because – TRANSACTION DENIED!!!!!!

I stepped aside again to call the bank again but not before she told me that I would have to exit her line and never come back. She actually said that she had rung me up twice and wasn going through it again – K Bye. I didn´t even know that a cashier had that option but she was clear that she was done and I would have to go to another line.

Okay.

I called the bank again but at 8PM our time it was 11PM on the east coast and it turns out that´s when all the Wells Fargo operators close up shop. I was stranded with my card on a fraud hold and a grand worth of groceries (mostly liquor) in my cart.

Here are pictures of items in my cart I sent my friend before it all went to hell.

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I made the decision to pull out just the items I needed for this weekend´s activities: salmon, eggs, tofu – I´m doing ramen for a crowd – and call it a day.

The new cashier rang up the smaller collection of items and….my card was declined again!

Next I swiped a credit card that had some room on it – and they don´t take mastercard!!!

This cashier was so nice though. She empathized and didn´t shame me for having to walk away from the big cart and the subset of items on her belt. I apologized. We both said we were sorry for things that weren´t our fault. And I left.

Modern banking at it´s finest had bummed my Costco high and left me empty-handed.

I was not in as much of a funk as one might expect. Yes, I was in that store for two hours and left with nothing. Do you know what that means??

First, it meant that I didn´t have to load and unload all that stuff. It was a lot of stuff and I was beat. Oddly enough, that was a perk. I had had it and as everyone else left Costco pushing their heavy over-loaded cart, I walked away unencumbered. I felt light and free.

But second it means I have to go back. With cash this time (I am not taking any chances).

It just occurred to me that Costco might not take cash. That would be just my luck.

Off I go – salmon or bust! I know where all my items are this time but pray for me that the gods of warehouse pricing are on my side.

And to this first world problem I say – gratitude, and Namaste.