Simulate Me.

I remember being out of my mind at the thought of Trump becoming President. I remember when he was President watching his news conferences and constantly wringing my hands and fretting over the whole thing.

I think a lot of us were sincerely apoplectic the entire four years.

The instant we got a real commander in chief I stopped the vigilance but it’s not like things suddenly normalized.

The war in Ukraine sealed it for me. I did not imagine we would sit back and watch a democratic nation get pummeled. Call me naive but I thought we’d do something to protect those people.

Yes, we are sending weapons so they can fight this war they never asked for. Yes we support them and are invested in the outcome. But turns out it’s a balancing act like threading a needle to stand up to Russia without starting WWIII.

So basically we will sacrifice men, women, children and entire nations in some kind of war game to preserve world order.

I was instantly disillusioned and I understand that there’s been bad things happening in the world since forever but this really got to me.

My mental health is pretty good right now. There’s still a few things bothering me but mostly I feel pretty decent. I am grounded by my animals (shout out to the new puppy Rayna), my work, the flowers and trees in my garden, etc. etc.

On a micro level my life and all that surrounds me gives me a sense of purpose and meaning. And beauty. My life feels beautiful.

But the world order can suck it.

Oh and let’s not get started on the metaverse and VR. I want me some of those goggles but same time I am a little freaked out by the extent to which we are happy to live inside a headset.

It all feels like a game. Once you start to think of life as a simulation and once you start to suspect that some pimply kid is gifting you with superpowers and subjecting you to crushing defeat it’s all a lot easier to laugh through the tears.

Nothing is real! Everything is real! What is reality anyway but a collective hunch?!?

I’m working on my micro life (the hand I was dealt) as best I can with a feeling that the macro stuff is all some kid/alien/god stirring the pot and haphazardly causing upheaval and mayhem.

Things have become just too bizarre to think otherwise. I don’t need to list all the bizarrity. You probably have your own examples.

Here are some prompts: homelessness and our inability to get folks off the street, animal shelters and a society that can’t seem to spay and neuter, people isolated behind their phones, junk food, junk products, consumerism, suicide – I gotta get myself to work and I need to stop writing but I’m going out on a limb to say that any enlightened society should be able to fix at least a few of these issues.

We have accepted a load of crap as an excuse for not doing better and that just seems so not like the reason we were supposedly created in God’s image and given free will. (You gotta admit creation stories and video games fit together nicely).

When you accept that life is just a bowl of cherries and it’s all a game everything is easier. It might seem like a copout but if it’s a game then it’s also a game we can win.

I have a hard time taking anything seriously anymore but paradoxically I am more likely to roll up my sleeves and try. If it’s all a game then it’s a game we can influence and sometimes win.

Yes, I am in it to win it, whatever that means. The world is going to spin off its axis in all kinds of directions and we must do all we can and know when to shut it all down and go inward.

I will leave you with my tortoise, Blossom. She is a sulcata baby and very well may outlive my human children. Lots of folks are raising them and I know because I belong to seven or eight Facebook tortoise groups. I think we all like the idea of raising a dinosaur that will outlive us.

Godspeed everyone. It’s crazy out there. But maybe it’s a good thing. Maybe it’s enough to get us to do the things we can – Serenity now! And Namaste.