Doctor, Heal Thyself.

I’m going to tell you the truth.

For most of us, at birth, we are gifted fifty years of pretty good health. In my first half century, self-care was a part of my life, but somewhat erratic. I exercised sporadically, ate okay, drank as much as I felt like , which sometimes was a fair amount – and my dirty little secret – I smoked cigarettes. And I felt fine.

I was never in amazing shape, but I could keep up in hot yoga, attend barre classes, hike forever – and I once ran 18 miles.

But when I hit fifty, everything changed.

I went to doctors with various complaints and basically was waved off as an overweight female, a smoker and in need of some better eating and exercise habits. So I struggled to lose weight and to quit smoking and to exercise more and sometimes I did great and sometimes I sort of crumped.

Life is like that.

More and more I felt awful in the way that so many peri-menopausal women describe. I remember listing my symptoms which were classic middle-aged female complaints and this skinny woman doctor told me that she runs at lunch blah blah and I left feeling like a hapless derelict slacker. Never once did she mention “the change.”

I tested my hormones even though she didn’t think it was necessary and sure enough I was in full-on menopause. For me that meant migraines which I’d never had before, anxiety, feeling sluggish and bloated, and an expanding midsection I seemed to not be able to do much about.

My favorite gynecologist put me on the pill and did a full hysterectomy/oophorectomy for me (lots of reproductive tumors in my family) and while I was thrown further into menopause, I slowly started to feel better. One day I got a superficial blood clot and I stopped the pill, but bingo, I was okay.

But now I had a whole new set of issues. My blood pressure took off through the roof and I started to wrinkle. I had always looked very very young for my age but my skin got crepey and things started to sag. I went to a new doctor who insisted I take estrogen and I finally relented but I blew up like a balloon and I hated it. The one good thing about menopause is you don’t have to be moody anymore. Once it’s over, the cycling and mood stuff sort of evens out and you feel like you did when you were eight years old. That part is fantastic!

This horrible woman (her name is Dr. Lisa Hudson) shamed me for smoking and when I teared up because my kids were all moving out she said I was unstable and needed a psychiatrist. She wrote that in my chart.

Luckily I saw a cardiac specialist from Germany and when I told him I smoked 4-5 cigarettes a day he said he had no concerns about that (Germans smoke like fiends) but if I didn’t get my blood pressure under control I was going to stroke out. I loved this man and I took his words seriously.

No one managed to solve my blood pressure issues but me. I tried Dr. Mean Girl’s medication regimens and they didn’t work. That really pissed off her off and she fired me. She sent me a letter saying I was rude because I didn’t get in line with her recommendations. So what I did myself is I is found three meds that in small doses worked synergistically to bring my 200/100 BP down to an amazing 118/60.

The only issue was that it also lowered my heart rate quite a bit and this makes hard exercise a bit tricky. But overall, amazing results.

I am going to deliver a medical pearl and a bit of medical history. In training we were all taught to maximize one drug’s dose before adding another. Dr. Lisa Buttface adhered strictly to this dogma but I had learned a different approach. My favorite gynecologist (Kurt Wharton, but he retired) once told me that since the majority of a drug’s effects are produced at low doses and the majority of the side effects occur at high doses, it was often better to add a second medication to work synergistically with the other med or meds. That is precisely how I solved my blood pressure issues.

I also thought about processes in the body. My issues are inflammation and autonomic dysfunction. I know my flight or flight and stress hormones are through the roof. So I when regular meds for blood pressure didn’t work, I decided it was because they were targeting the wrong pathways. Once I got the stress pathways contained, it all fell into line. I did it with pills because another thing I have learned is the natural stuff is all good but our environment and lifestyle has stressed us to the point that celery juice isn’t going to cut it.

I have to say that I was kind of stunned that no doctor had ever taken the time to consider why my blood pressure was so high. A few cigarettes a day and menopause and a fluffy belly was all they needed to know before funneling me into the standard blood pressure med protocol – the one that didn’t work.

Once menopause calmed down I did quit the smoking. I had quit a million times before but I’m never going back. I also wanted to get into fabulous shape but stuff started falling apart faster that I could put it back together.

Without dragging this out too far, I developed a burning stomach, difficulty swallowing at times and if I drank coffee or dairy my digestion was trashed. I saw a GI guy, got scoped and was told everything was fine. I had terrible reflux if I ate much after seven, and sometimes food got stuck in my throat if I ate too early in the morning. I certainly didn’t feel fine.

Then I went through a period of breaking a bunch of bones and spraining a few ankles.

And then, I started to bleed. Black tarry stools. Another scope, a capsule endoscopy where you swallow a camera – no cancer, no site of bleeding found. I had every symptom of an ulcer but I was told I didn’t have that.

I kept on bleeding and one day thought I would pass out. I convinced my new much better doctor to give me an iron infusion. After many many months of restless leg and chewing ice and extreme fatigue I felt much better. But I kept having bleeds and as my iron fell, my energy tanked.

I had always hiked a bit and taken a few barre or yoga classes or gone to the gym and lifted some weights but with covid the classes and gym were out. I think my fitness suffered and little by little I noticed my reflection looking a little more stooped and my shape becoming more and more apple-like.

I am beginning to hone in on how to get better, but I don’t feel like I have really good support in this. So what happens is I only manage to do some of what I need to do. I take my BP meds and I don’t smoke and I walk a little but I am not getting enough of the right exercise to build enough muscle to reverse this apple issue. Weight-training is the fountain of youth if you want to keep your curves. And, I do. I really do.

I eat very well some days – tons of veggies and lean proteins, but last weekend I had fish tacos, fries and an In-N-Out chocolate milkshake because I just effin wanted to. My body is so sensitive that I can very easily offset a week of great eating with one or two big splurges. And my job is so demanding that sometimes my discipline fails.

I still drink a bit and I wish I could find a good drug but edibles over time cause me to have word-finding difficulties and after quitting smoking I really don’t want to mess with my lungs. I tried Kratom and it’s interesting but disgusting to choke down and I don’t think enough is known about it. So what I really want to do is run.

I want to run because I am a person who needs drugs like pumpin’ endorphins. I already get sunlight, I take my lexapro faithfully and it works……but when I get home from work I need something. Running sounds good to me.

Switch to yesterday. I had held my phone for three hours so the neighbor kids could watch Curious George and The Tom and Jerry movie (see previous post). I knew I was cramping up but I ignored it. Doctors do that. We are taught to serve others even if our stomach hurts or our arm is cramping up.

Well huge mistake because I did something to my trapezius that caused my neck to freeze and it was bad.

I had to ask my little patients to please not fight me because Dr. Maria had a really bad neck owie. Amazingly the toddler set fell into line and held still and I made it through my day. I got a little chiropractic, called my doctor for a virtual visit and eventually got a call back from a different physician I am now calling Dr. WhereHaveYouBeenAllMyLife.

He talked to me about nerve causes (my entire occiput was in a vice) but didn’t discount my muscle strain concerns. He gave me muscle relaxants, gabapentin and steroids. Because I mentioned my stomach issues (which still aren’t solved) we talked about that too.I wanted to get the steroids but wait and he respected that. I told him that after two years of the bleeding and symptoms, about a month ago, I had another capsule endoscopy at my insistence and wouldn’t you know it — bleeding ulcers. The thing that made perfect sense that I was told I didn’t have is exactly what I have had for years.

H.Pylori is a major cause of ulcers. No one ever talked to me about H.Pylori, I was just told to take Omeprazole, but I ran a test on myself and it was negative. I told him this and he said – well let’s treat you for it anyway. I almost wept. Then I asked him about carafate to maybe help me get better faster and he said – sure, let’s try that. I teared up for real.

I was terrified that my occipital vice-like pain was going to take forever to go away, and I can’t take motrin or I’ll bleed, so I went to bed with a bunch of pillows and a heating pad rolled under my neck in a neutral position and took the valium muscle relaxer and the gabapentin, twice, and by midnight it all started to lift.

Mr. Doctor Wonderful had been right. I think I had occipital neuralgia and I was able to calm it down and it went away so fast that it couldn’t have been muscular.

So why am I telling you all of this? Well……first I want you to follow me on my journey to get from this aging apple shape to curvy old broad. We’ll have fun and I will share my before and afters.

Second, I think everyone needs to know that it is really hard to both care for ourselves and to get good care.

And third I have one more thing to tell you.

When I was laid up in bed I did some internet perusing and I came across this C-spine expert who went through tons of physiology describing neck issues, secondary nerve issues (especially the vagus nerve which is part of our autonomic nervous system) and all the possible health issues that stem from losing the normal curvature of the neck. My mind exploded…..maybe those chiropractors really can fix digestive issues…I had never understood it all. I happen to have neck issues and many manifestations of vagus nerve and other nerve issues and this guy had a way of curing all of this by realigning the neck and then strengthening the ligaments to hold it all into place.

Furthermore, I have a strong belief that a part of the anxiety so many kids are experiencing may have to do with the vagus nerve and autonomic dysfunction. Theories include algae blooms, toxins, pesticides – you name it. Well, what if it’s from looking down at cell phones and messing with proper C-spine curvature? My mind was blown.

I was ready to fly to Florida so this dude could treat me, but not being one to jump the gun when it comes to medical interventions, I googled him: Dr. Ross Hauser.

Oooh boy.

Turns out this guy runs a racket where he injects large volumes of dextrose, stem cells and other junk into people’s necks and other joints (it’s called Prolotherapy) and he has done massive and debilitating injury to many people. It’s so bad that one of his injured patients set up a website just to warn people.

And I had fallen for it.

I don’t know what to tell you. Just be careful out there.

Medically, I’d find yourself a good allopathic physician who listens and is willing to think about your problems as a whole…not just play whack-a-mole with every issue. I would also work with a good chiropractor or physical therapist but use extreme caution if any naturopath tells you not to immunize your kids. Functional medicine people have interesting ideas and know a tremendous amount of physiology but I find much of their treatments are trendy and they thrust the same thing on everyone. It used to be candida, now it’s lyme – MTHFR – they have their own kind of dogma and as long as their recommendations are harmless, go for it. But remember that much of it may not actually work the way they say it does.

I learned this with probiotics. We know the gut biome is important. We know leaky gut is real. But that’s about all we actually know. Everything else is subject to debate and there’s a ton of providers who will throw all kinds of good bacteria and gut supplements at you and we don’t know if it helps or makes things worse. The studies are split here. What we do know is that processed foods may eff up your biome. We know that antibiotics kill off the biome but surprisingly you recolonize faster without probiotics. Hmmm. Fermented foods might be helpful but I’m not sure that all the billions of colony forming units we are swallowing are really doing any good. When I tried a GI doctor recommended protocol I looked eight months pregnant and had belly cramps. SIBO? Who knows. Stay tuned for fecal transplants because that data looks promising.

Bottom line is tread gently but pay attention to how your body seems to function. Find a doctor who will teach you what labs and tests mean and who will take the time to explain pathophysiology to you. This is important because you ultimately will be your own best healer but you can’t do it without some science and information. Even the best doctor will fail you if they are right but they don’t explain why. Also remember anything that sounds too good to be true probably is. When providers carry around their hammers, everything is a nail.

Besides finding the right providers, my feeling is to avoid as many toxins and food additives as you can, eat freshly, stay away from nitrates and nitrites and things like that, move your body and get your vaccines and preventative screens like mammograms and colonoscopies. Get some sun and put your hands and feet in the earth because there are microbes in there that are good for your mental health (really!) and also it helps to ground us. (that’s just me talking). Make time for activities that get you into FLOW – hiking, walking, art, music, writing…..FLOW is essential. If you need mental health help don’t be afraid to tweak your chemistry carefully with the right meds – but be aware that meds can also cause you to tank so don’t follow any protocol that makes you feel worse. Stretch and stand up straight…..basically what I have learned is that science is great and if you get super sick there’s a lot that can be done so don’t bash western medicine. But day-to-day, listen to the wisdom of your elders, maintain good habits, love your neighbor, and plant a garden.

The End.